Latest update
I think i will quit the job after so many days of thinking.
Seriously, i do not know how to tell Geraldine about my decision. Hais..
I dun feel the satisfaction at work even after the so many talks we had had. =(
I figured out that its too deskbound for me. I prefer to be not as deskbound.
I should quit. This way, i will not waste both my time and Geraldine's. Right?..
*I think i still cant get out of his shadows. =/ I still miss talking to him!
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Boring day
Im beginning to realise. Every sats and suns are my rotting days. Damn boring on these 2 days. I feel like going out!! but seems like all's busy with their own things.
Went to work today. Almost hurt my back again. -.- coz of the damn heavy drink bottles. Sucks. My shoulder pain is also acting up. Dad says its rheumatism but i think otherwise. I supposed i have hurt my left shoulder while working at foodland the other time. Carried too heavy stuff i guess. Shall see a doc when my pay comes. Not sure if its wise to go for an X-ray. Its been for so long. Probably since a few months back. On and off. Thought it was nth, but it seems to be coming back more frequently these days.
But anyway.. im really grateful to JY. you noe why huh. =) Thanks ger. Was really fed up the other day, thats why i went to find you about it.
Sometimes i wonder how adults think. Everytime talking about the same topic, harbouring the same bad idea. I can sense that some of the colleagues are trying to use me to go tell my manager things. OT pay, management, punctuality, what have you. These adults are real funny lot.
They told me this...
"Im not the kind who likes to play along with politics. People say wad, i will just listen and do my things. I wont go and comment on others. I don't like. "
But..yet.. they are contradicting themselves again when they told me this..
"I heard that some of the staff sign in the day before and wrote down that they reach the office at 830 when they only reach at 9, the management like never take much actions against them. Im sure the management will do something about it right? I dun want to name the person la, just want to inform you."
So the above statements, aren't they office politics? Trying to backstab someone and use me to go and tell my manager about it? Funny people ya.. What they say truely reflect their personality. =)
But well.. whatever they tell me, i will just smile and listen. No comments to be given. Thats why i detest lunch time most.
Why? Coz i will be lunching with those hypocrites who says that they dislike being part of office politics.
Maybe, i should try to lunch alone at times. Sad thing that i dun get to have the same lunch time as my bro's gf. Else it will be good. But nvm, i guess this is where i have to be independent.
Oh wells.. that malay girl is going over to the new office soon. Good thing is that she wont be there to make me look like her assistant, instead of my manager's assistant anymore.
Bad thing is that she cant be there to guide me anymore.
Im damn bored now. i seriously feel like going out. maybe like what clement say, go "la kopi". haha.. but no khakis leh! Anyone?
Im beginning to realise. Every sats and suns are my rotting days. Damn boring on these 2 days. I feel like going out!! but seems like all's busy with their own things.
Went to work today. Almost hurt my back again. -.- coz of the damn heavy drink bottles. Sucks. My shoulder pain is also acting up. Dad says its rheumatism but i think otherwise. I supposed i have hurt my left shoulder while working at foodland the other time. Carried too heavy stuff i guess. Shall see a doc when my pay comes. Not sure if its wise to go for an X-ray. Its been for so long. Probably since a few months back. On and off. Thought it was nth, but it seems to be coming back more frequently these days.
But anyway.. im really grateful to JY. you noe why huh. =) Thanks ger. Was really fed up the other day, thats why i went to find you about it.
Sometimes i wonder how adults think. Everytime talking about the same topic, harbouring the same bad idea. I can sense that some of the colleagues are trying to use me to go tell my manager things. OT pay, management, punctuality, what have you. These adults are real funny lot.
They told me this...
"Im not the kind who likes to play along with politics. People say wad, i will just listen and do my things. I wont go and comment on others. I don't like. "
But..yet.. they are contradicting themselves again when they told me this..
"I heard that some of the staff sign in the day before and wrote down that they reach the office at 830 when they only reach at 9, the management like never take much actions against them. Im sure the management will do something about it right? I dun want to name the person la, just want to inform you."
So the above statements, aren't they office politics? Trying to backstab someone and use me to go and tell my manager about it? Funny people ya.. What they say truely reflect their personality. =)
But well.. whatever they tell me, i will just smile and listen. No comments to be given. Thats why i detest lunch time most.
Why? Coz i will be lunching with those hypocrites who says that they dislike being part of office politics.
Maybe, i should try to lunch alone at times. Sad thing that i dun get to have the same lunch time as my bro's gf. Else it will be good. But nvm, i guess this is where i have to be independent.
Oh wells.. that malay girl is going over to the new office soon. Good thing is that she wont be there to make me look like her assistant, instead of my manager's assistant anymore.
Bad thing is that she cant be there to guide me anymore.
Im damn bored now. i seriously feel like going out. maybe like what clement say, go "la kopi". haha.. but no khakis leh! Anyone?
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Entry after three weeks
Its been 3 weeks. Alot of things had happened at work.
Manager finally realised that i seem to have lost the drive to work. She called me in and talk to me for 1plus hr.. Well.. i admitted to her that i have lost the drive to work.
I dunno why.
Maybe the people there simply turns me off. Certain people in particular. Scheming, cunning, bully.. What have you.. Working adults are complicated. Maybe.. like what few friends have said, im too kind. Am I? Always kena bully. People's shit, I have to help them clear. My shit, who is gonna help me clear? Sit there and cry also no one will help me clear.
But well, Im really glad i talked to my manager about the whole thing. She knew alot of things were not done by me even though i refused to tell her who the person who edited my work was. Shall not comment so much la. I see no point also, what is done cannot be undone. Right? So long my manager knows the story herself, see the things clearly, I will be very glad. She asked me..
" Is the job too boring? Or is it too much for you to handle? Or rather, you find it not challenging at all?.."
After she asked me, i pondered for awhile before giving her my answer. I think.. It more or less falls on the first and third question. Sometimes i find it boring. Its all very routined work. I told her.. its not too much for me to handle.. I still can cope with it. And so she asked me.. why din you come and look for me to learn new things?
Well.. its very simple why i din look her up. She's got tight schedule everyday.. for the past 3 weeks that i have joined them and its tough to even ask her a simple question. On top of that, i din wanted to disturb her. After explaining myself, she understood. But.. i told her.. i did asked Ayu what are some of the things that i can help them in. What was the answer i get from her?
"Su Ling, i clear my barang barang first then get back to you. See what things need to be cleared."
Yes, that's what she said. And did she get back to me? Nope.. See? Not that i din bother to ask what are some things i can help them in right? I did ask. No one seem to be willing to share. Maybe they are scared that i take away their livelihood. Maybe not they.. its just "her".
Anyway, after the talk, my manager told me alot of things and assured me that i can always look for her if i got any questions. Be it work or personal, she will want to listen to me. Im glad that she is willing to give me the chance. And something she said touched me alot.
"I expect alot from you. Do you know that? Much more than i expect from Ayu. Don't let me down ya?
Who says Su Ling cannot send emails? Su Ling can also send email. "
Tears rolled down man. =/ I din noe she has such high expectations from me and she knows the worries that i have. She understands me.
*Thanks Geraldine.*
Next day, managing director came to me. He said something as touching or if not, more touching.
"Su Ling, don't worry. You are doing fine. Just have to be a little more pro-active and you can do it. I want to nurture you. I can see the basic ingredients in you."
I am really so touched by the two of them. *Thanks Mr Lim and Geraldine, for having such faith in me.*
Those words from them, really motivates me alot. Really. I feel happier at work if they can realise. People are starting to come to me more now. I can feel my stand in the office at last. Thanks to the 2 important people in my working life for making me feel assured.
Enough of work.
I've finally made a conclusion to the thing that is in my mind for so long. =)
An sms did the wonder, i supposed. I smsed him.
I noe things arent like before anymore. I dun expect us to be close like before.
I will be glad so long he is there for me, like before. He knows.
* Milo, I've done it. - Proud of me? HEE HEE.
Its been 3 weeks. Alot of things had happened at work.
Manager finally realised that i seem to have lost the drive to work. She called me in and talk to me for 1plus hr.. Well.. i admitted to her that i have lost the drive to work.
I dunno why.
Maybe the people there simply turns me off. Certain people in particular. Scheming, cunning, bully.. What have you.. Working adults are complicated. Maybe.. like what few friends have said, im too kind. Am I? Always kena bully. People's shit, I have to help them clear. My shit, who is gonna help me clear? Sit there and cry also no one will help me clear.
But well, Im really glad i talked to my manager about the whole thing. She knew alot of things were not done by me even though i refused to tell her who the person who edited my work was. Shall not comment so much la. I see no point also, what is done cannot be undone. Right? So long my manager knows the story herself, see the things clearly, I will be very glad. She asked me..
" Is the job too boring? Or is it too much for you to handle? Or rather, you find it not challenging at all?.."
After she asked me, i pondered for awhile before giving her my answer. I think.. It more or less falls on the first and third question. Sometimes i find it boring. Its all very routined work. I told her.. its not too much for me to handle.. I still can cope with it. And so she asked me.. why din you come and look for me to learn new things?
Well.. its very simple why i din look her up. She's got tight schedule everyday.. for the past 3 weeks that i have joined them and its tough to even ask her a simple question. On top of that, i din wanted to disturb her. After explaining myself, she understood. But.. i told her.. i did asked Ayu what are some of the things that i can help them in. What was the answer i get from her?
"Su Ling, i clear my barang barang first then get back to you. See what things need to be cleared."
Yes, that's what she said. And did she get back to me? Nope.. See? Not that i din bother to ask what are some things i can help them in right? I did ask. No one seem to be willing to share. Maybe they are scared that i take away their livelihood. Maybe not they.. its just "her".
Anyway, after the talk, my manager told me alot of things and assured me that i can always look for her if i got any questions. Be it work or personal, she will want to listen to me. Im glad that she is willing to give me the chance. And something she said touched me alot.
"I expect alot from you. Do you know that? Much more than i expect from Ayu. Don't let me down ya?
Who says Su Ling cannot send emails? Su Ling can also send email. "
Tears rolled down man. =/ I din noe she has such high expectations from me and she knows the worries that i have. She understands me.
*Thanks Geraldine.*
Next day, managing director came to me. He said something as touching or if not, more touching.
"Su Ling, don't worry. You are doing fine. Just have to be a little more pro-active and you can do it. I want to nurture you. I can see the basic ingredients in you."
I am really so touched by the two of them. *Thanks Mr Lim and Geraldine, for having such faith in me.*
Those words from them, really motivates me alot. Really. I feel happier at work if they can realise. People are starting to come to me more now. I can feel my stand in the office at last. Thanks to the 2 important people in my working life for making me feel assured.
Enough of work.
I've finally made a conclusion to the thing that is in my mind for so long. =)
An sms did the wonder, i supposed. I smsed him.
I noe things arent like before anymore. I dun expect us to be close like before.
I will be glad so long he is there for me, like before. He knows.
* Milo, I've done it. - Proud of me? HEE HEE.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Wonderful Stayover
Yup.. Stay over @ my place was quite alright. The outing was quite a successful one. =) those whom i din expect to come, came. But only the guys and Ivy stayed over. Played mahjong till 2plus.. But bad of me to interrupt in between. LOL.. coz i was playing FATAL FRAME 3 on ps2 alone. =/ I was narrating the storyline to them. lol! They all got distracted except hanwen. Coz from his position, there was no way he could see the tv. =/
After that mahjong game, yuan chang came too. Then we switched off all the lights and played fatal frame. Hehehe.. But halfway tru, me and ivy k.o. LOL.. i think 4plus. anyway, in the end all of us slept till 8 i think.. then went for breakfast at marsiling market. haha..
Tmr work is starting. So sad. =( work is tiring and stressful. everytime got ot.. so no life! somemore so many things to noe and understand.. but i hope i will survive. =)
Yup.. Stay over @ my place was quite alright. The outing was quite a successful one. =) those whom i din expect to come, came. But only the guys and Ivy stayed over. Played mahjong till 2plus.. But bad of me to interrupt in between. LOL.. coz i was playing FATAL FRAME 3 on ps2 alone. =/ I was narrating the storyline to them. lol! They all got distracted except hanwen. Coz from his position, there was no way he could see the tv. =/
After that mahjong game, yuan chang came too. Then we switched off all the lights and played fatal frame. Hehehe.. But halfway tru, me and ivy k.o. LOL.. i think 4plus. anyway, in the end all of us slept till 8 i think.. then went for breakfast at marsiling market. haha..
Tmr work is starting. So sad. =( work is tiring and stressful. everytime got ot.. so no life! somemore so many things to noe and understand.. but i hope i will survive. =)
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